I’m afraid to use the bathrooms there.īasil and my daughter, Marcy, have a very different relationship to privacy than I do. We first met Alexa at his house, in fact, where she monitors the thermostat, the music, the lighting, the grocery list, and for all I know his breathing. Basil is a millennial, though, and so far as I can tell, his life’s ambition, like the rest of his generation’s, is to lie on the sofa and control the universe from his phone. She was a joint birthday gift to Doug and me from our son-in-law, whom we love like life itself. on Wednesday.” In the latter, she’s Edith Bunker, simpering and apologetic: “I’m afraid I don’t have that information just now.” If you tell her she’s stupid - which, I’m not ashamed to say, I have, more than once - her snappy comeback is, “That’s not very nice.” If I wanted a Sunday-school teacher to talk to, I’d invite the Mormons in. In the former, she’s like a bad small-town newspaper writer: “The school-board meeting started promptly at 7 p.m. It’s how we show love.Īlexa has two states: bland certainty and obsequious ignorance. We’re contented - hell, we’re actually most comfortable - in a state of quarrelsome upheaval. (For most of our marriage, Doug’s parents thought I was Italian.) We enjoy nothing more than a big holiday dinner at which we all stuff our faces and shout at one another and bicker over inconsequential stuff like whether the recipe for Aunt Laura’s pound cake had sour cream in it and if Jack Ruby acted alone. I come from a big, loud, argumentative family. We would have laughed at the memory, maybe clinked our glasses (his beer, mine wine) and felt warm-fuzzy and a little closer to each other, and we might even have gotten it on upstairs after the game was over, despite the fact the Lakers won.īut instead, we have Alexa. We might have parried over whether or not Shaq had been on the Lakers team that beat the Sixers in the 2001 NBA championship, which would have led me to reminisce fondly about watching the first game of that playoff on a tiny battery TV outside my leader’s tent at the annual co-ed Patriot Days encampment at Daniel Boone Homestead while trying to keep tabs on two dozen hormone-ridden Girl Scouts, which would have led both of us to recall Doug’s first Patriot Days encampment, with Jake’s Cub Scout troop, and how it rained nonstop for three days until Jake stood in the middle of a field and cried because there was nowhere dry to sit down. He might have opened by noting that Shaq had been playing for the Celtics only a few seasons ago, so how could he be upward of 60, like us? I might have countered that our son’s first college roommate had been named for the big guy and Jake is 25 now, so there was that. There was a time when Doug and I could have had a rip-roaring-good argument about the age of Shaquille O’Neal. “Shaquille O’Neal is 45 years old,” Alexa’s weird, anodyne canned voice responded after a moment. a license), or government identification documents (such as SSNs).īe cautious about confidential discussions involving Amazon's policies This includes pictures of inside the facilities (or anywhere a phone would typically not be allowed.“Of course it is! Who else is built like that?” No Personal information Do not share personal information of users (or yourself), including but not limited to: full name, face, age, address, personal identification (i.e. This includes self-promotion of any sort. No Spam Don't post large amounts of random characters, repeated comments, links to outside sources or in rapid succession. Gender, Race, Sexuality, preferences, etc. No Offensive Remarks Do not purposely make offensive remarks about a person's or group's identity, e.g. Feel free to discuss amongst peers and colleagues to make work a better place!ĭisclaimer: This subreddit is not owned or maintained by Amazon or it's subsidiaries Rules Could be complaining about work or suggesting helpful advice to others. Welcome to a place to discuss work with other employees.
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